


Mumbo’s Mansion

by RaeTheStar



Series: Hermitcraft Oneshots [55]
Category: Hermitcraft, Luigi’s Mansion
Genre: But it’s surprisingly hard to write, Gen, Oneshot, im in love with this au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-09
Updated: 2019-12-02
Packaged: 2021-01-26 09:00:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21371554
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RaeTheStar/pseuds/RaeTheStar
Summary: Mumbo and Grian heard rumors of a haunted mansion in Vex Woods, and they’re determined to go check it out.
Series: Hermitcraft Oneshots [55]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1485707
Comments: 7
Kudos: 79





	1. Chapter 1

Mumbo glanced from his map to the mansion several times, his stomach sinking. This was indeed the mansion he was looking for, but it certainly didn't look like the picture on the map. To be honest, he never really believed the cheerful map in the first place. A pristine white mansion in the center of Vex Woods? As if.

Rumors had been going around town that there was a mansion in the center of Vex Woods, all alone for centuries. Supposedly the building had been abandoned because it was haunted. People reported walls moving, torches floating down the hall by themselves, and music playing from nowhere.

"But can't redstone do all that?" Mumbo had countered. They didn't seem like very strange sightings at all.

"No, there's no redstone! Everything moves on it's own, like it's haunted by ghosts!" The man in the post office claimed. Mumbo simply shook his head at the time; ghosts weren't real, but surely whoever made that house was a redstone master.

Mumbo, excited by the idea of a mystery- and redstone obviously- called Grian immediately. Grian had heard the same rumors, and was curious to see such old architecture in person. The pair happily agreed to meet at the front doors of the mansion at 6 pm sharp, and went their ways.

Now, leafless trees arched over Mumbo's head, trapping him in the dark forest. The sun was setting already, but the thick clouds covered any sunlight that may have remained, leaving Mumbo to guide himself by torchlight. As Mumbo approached the gates of the mansion, it was becoming increasingly clear that Grian was nowhere in sight. A bolt of lightning struck, inseparable from the pealing thunder that accompanied it. _A storm, because a haunted mansion wasn't scary enough already._

_Mansion_, Mumbo corrected, _just a mansion._ The porch groaned loudly as Mumbo approached the door, almost discouraging Mumbo from entering. He shook his head quickly; these thoughts wouldn't do at all. There was nothing to be afraid of but an old, unstable house. Unstable indeed, as a floorboard broke under Mumbo's weight, throwing him onto his hands and knees.

Mumbo quickly clambered to his feet, reaching for the doorknob, but the front doors swung open before he could grab it, sending him stumbling into the front room. Heart racing now, Mumbo took a deep breath as he glanced around the front room. It was grand, the two-story ceiling adorned with an enormous chandelier. Twin staircases wound up both sides of the entryway, framing another set of double doors just ahead of him. It was certainly a grand foyer, although that made it that much creepier in the dark.

As Mumbo observed the eerie room, he considered waiting outside for Grian to arrive. One glance at the rickety porch gave him his answer, and he gently closed the door behind him. _Grian will be here any minute, I'll just wait in here._

Several minutes passed before Mumbo finally got bored. He ran his fingers along the bannister as he climbed the stairs, noting with disgust that every step sent dust flying, swirling in the beam of his flashlight. At the top, another set of double doors greeted him, along with a nondescript door off to the left. Mumbo idly tested the handle, and blinked in surprise when it opened easily.

Poking his head in, he noted that this must have been a parlor of some kind, with a couch, a table and chairs, and countless paintings lining the walls. His flashlight caught a glint under the table, and as Mumbo stepped closer, he gasped quietly, realizing they were gold coins littering the floor. Without hesitation, Mumbo scooped them up, adding up a total of ten coins, which were neatly tucked in his back pocket. _Grian would totally get a kick out of those._

With a loud slam, the room was plunged into darkness. Mumbo whirled around, a squeak escaping him. The door he had entered through was closed, and he certainly knew that he hadn't closed it. He quickly reached for the doorknob, but it didn't budge; he was locked in. Maybe the wind had blown it shut and it had locked automatically. _Probably the redstone._ It would certainly be an odd redstone feature to have, but that seemed to be the likely explanation. _It had to be redstone._

The room looked entirely different in the dark, and Mumbo pressed his back against the door. Sweeping the pitch black room with his flashlight, Mumbo spotted a smaller door in the far corner of the room. He wondered if that door would be unlocked, and where it might lead but his legs wouldn't move away from the main doors. He felt a lot safer with his back against the wall.

A breeze whistled through the crack in the door Mumbo, sending a shiver through him. All this ghost talk was getting under his skin. _It's all redstone, and it's just the wind_. A loud growling came from the china cabinet, which started rattling. The storm outside, that's all. That's all it is. Mumbo's breathing was uneven as he tried to convince himself to calm down. After a few deep breaths, he decided to check the far door; anything to stop his overactive imagination.

This time, the sound was clearly a giggle, and it came from directly over Mumbo's shoulder. He whirled around, finding himself face to face with an orange creature. It was no bigger than Mumbo's head, with spindly arms dangling from it's sides. It's eyes glowed yellow, and most notably, it's lower half faded into nothing, leaving it floating at eye level. With another giggle, it bobbed closer to Mumbo.

Mumbo yelped, stumbling backwards. He tripped over his own foot, falling painfully on his rear, his flashlight rolling out of arms reach. This wasn't good. The creature- obviously a ghost, although Mumbo couldn't admit it was real- floated closer with a grin, sharp teeth glinting in his glowing mouth. Mumbo pushed himself across the floor backwards, startling himself as he bumped into a corner. There was no escape now. Mumbo trembled uncontrollably, unable to even cry for help. It was the end, and he was going to die to a real life ghost.

A flash of light blinded Mumbo, and in an instant the room was thrown into chaos. A loud whirring filled the room, along with unearthly screeches pounding at Mumbo's eardrums. The afterimage from the light cleared. He discovered there was another human in the room- or at least, they seemed human- with a vacuum strapped to their back. Said vacuum was pointed directly at the ghost, which cried and screamed as it was sucked into the vacuum's mouth suddenly. The room fell silent, aside from the loud heartbeat pounding in Mumbo's ears. He watched nervously as the person dusted off their hands with their back still to him, as if the whole scenario wasn't bizarre.

"Oof. I sure take a lot of knocks in this line of work." The voice seemed human- female, at that. The statement gave Mumbo more questions than answers unfortunately. He opened his mouth, but no sound came out, just heavy breathing as he tried to understand what just happened. The figure spun around, giving Mumbo a full view of them for the first time.

She had long red hair, and although it was unkempt and ratty, it was endearing. She was surprisingly tall, and sturdily built- definitely more so than Mumbo was. She also wore odd goggles, which seemed completely opaque with swirls in them. Mumbo wondered if she could even see out of them in such a dim room. As odd as they were however, the goggles certainly weren't the oddest thing about this woman. No, her mottled green skin was definitely the strangest. "I'm getting too old for this ghost-catching rubbish."

Mumbo's jaw hung open, his mind still struggling to process what all just happened._ A zombie woman with a vacuum just saved me from a ghost_.

"Shut your trap or you'll catch flies," she teased. "Or maybe a ghost bat. They're everywhere you know."

This made Mumbo snap his mouth closed, swallowing thickly. Finally, the adrenaline was wearing off, and he had a lot of questions. "Who are you? What are you doing here? Was that a real ghost? How did-"

"I can only answer so many, slow down!" She laughed. She offered Mumbo a hand up, which he accepted gratefully. His legs still felt like jello, making him stumble, but the woman held him up with a laugh. At least she seemed to be friendly, Mumbo was glad to note. "My name is Zombie Cleo, or just Cleo if you're of a shortening mind. Why am I here? I could ask you the same thing! Well, it's complicated, but-"

Demonic laughter bounced off the walls, startling both of them. Cleo spun around, and three more of the orange ghosts appeared, grins wide as they began to approach. Cleo took a step back, shaking her head slightly. "This looks ugly... Alright kid, look alive, because I can't! Let's get out of here!"

Cleo snagged Mumbo's hand, and the pair burst out of the mansion. They ran as fast as they could, Cleo whooping as she dragged a panicked Mumbo behind her.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mumbo learns more about the mansion and catches himself a ghost.

Mumbo had seen a lot of weird things in the last twenty minutes, but this was certainly up there. Whooping as she bounded out the door, Cleo led him through the front gates of the mansion, instantly screeching to a halt in front of a rickety old shack. Mumbo was surprised he hadn't noticed the place earlier, and he was equally surprised the place wasn't overrun with ghosts like the mansion was. He wasn't sure what to expect when Cleo led him into the shack and down the narrow wooden ladder, but he certainly didn't expect this.

The walls were reinforced by wooden beams, with stones pressed into the dirt walls like a wainscoting. He could also immediately feel a temperature drop, making it feel like the bunker was farther underground than it was. A large computer with many screens covered the far wall, filled with strings of numbers and graphics Mumbo couldn't understand. He also cautiously noted multiple doors branching off this main room. Mumbo was suddenly concerned that this woman had dug the whole place by herself, which wouldn't have been concerning except that she appeared to be a walking corpse.

"Welcome to the Lab, kiddo! By the way, I didn't catch your name." She talked as she bounced around the room, hanging up her vaccuum and checking things on her computer quickly.

"Uh, Mumbo." He supplied. "What is... this place?"

"Why this is the Lab obviously! This has been my base of operations for the last twenty years of my ghost hunting career- or was it thirty years?" Cleo pondered before quickly turning back to the computer.

Mumbo wasn't sure how to reply to that; everything about this was far too bizarre to be real. Zombies weren't real, ghosts weren't real, and zombies who hunted ghosts with vacuums certainly weren't real.

"Anywho, I feel like our paths were destined to cross. Well met Mumbo." She reached out a hand, and Mumbo took it slowly. It was cold, but strong; not unlike how he thought a zombie might have felt. Not that he had ever wondered that before. "These cozy quarters are where I do my ghost studying!" She gestured grandly around the room.

"Wait, so you really do hunt ghosts? For a living?" Mumbo had to ask.

Cleo have him an odd look. "Well of course! I've been studying ghosts for so long, you'd be surprised I wasn't one yet!" She laughed.

"But you're a zombie! How does that work?" Mumbo squeaked, trying his best to stay composed. He couldn't have ever imagined that this was a conversation he would ever need to have.

"Meh, I thought I would die at 80 or something, but I guess I forgot to since I’m 203 now. Don't ask me how; I study ghosts, not zombies!" She waved a hand, as if it was as normal as a sunburn.

"So you must be the one who built the mansion, right? And all the redstone?" Mumbo desperately hoped the answer was a normal yes, but all the evidence was pointing to the opposite, including Cleo's confused reaction.

"Simply put, no. You actually believe the mansion is real, huh? How interesting." She spun back to the computer, rapidly typing things in a language Mumbo couldn't read.

"Hold on, not real?" Now Mumbo was utterly lost. So ghosts, the spirits of living creatures, actually existed, but the mansion he was just inside _didn't_?

"Kid, I've been living here for thirty years, and I can promise that mansion appeared not even a week ago. Poof! The spirits sure have you fooled." She shook her head sadly.

A jolt shot through Mumbo's spine. It wasn't real? "Hold on, but I found you inside the mansion. How am I supposed to believe you're not an apparition too!" Mumbo cried, his head spinning. Everything he knew about reality was a lie, and he didn't trust anything anymore.

"Oh don't worry, I'm very much real." She patted herself for effect. "I was in the mansion hunting ghosts, obviously! It's their native environment after all. A great opportunity for someone like me!"

Native environment? "This is- I'm- oughgggg..." Mumbo nearly collapsed on himself, his legs suddenly unwilling to cooperate and his head whirling. Cleo leapt into action, holding Mumbo up by his arms.

"Oh boy, let's set you down right here on the couch, hm? You rest, I'll go grab some water." Cleo disappeared through a door, leaving Mumbo lightheaded on the couch.

He took a few deep breaths, not knowing how long he had just been holding his breath for. This had to be the most bizarre dream of his entire life, it had to. A mansion in the woods, haunted by real ghosts? A vacuum that could suck up and seemingly capture the ghosts? And don't forget that the professor was literally a zombie. It was all too strange for Mumbo, everything he had been taught as a child was a lie._ If only Grian was here, he's good at helping me relax_.

To most people, Mumbo would have been considered the level-headed friend between the pair, but Mumbo knew better. Grian may appear more energetic, but Mumbo had seen the way he could stay calm in serious situations, and was willing to help anyone that needed it. Mumbo however, he was the anxious one. He looked composed and intelligent on the outside, but he always told people it was the suit. Mumbo was the true worry-wart of the pair, and Grian always knew how to calm him down.

Grian!

Mumbo scrambled to his feet just as Cleo walked in with a glass of water in her hand. "Oh good, are you feeling better?"

"Did you see another person in the mansion today?" Mumbo asked breathlessly.

Cleo thought for a moment. "No, can't say that I have... But now that you mention it, I did see a little guy in a red sweater run in the front doors," she mused. "I thought it was an apparition, but that's what prompted me to explore the mansion in the first place!"

Mumbo's heart sank into his shoe. Grian was inside the mansion. By himself. "Ohhh good lord...." He fell back down to the couch, head in his hands. This couldn't be happening. Grian was very capable of holding his own, but something told Mumbo that Grian's 'karate' wouldn't do much good against ethereal spirits.

Cleo set the water down and carefully sat next to Mumbo, resting a hand on his shoulder. "What's wrong? Did you see it too?"

Mumbo shook his head miserably. "That was Grian. We were supposed to explore the mansion together, but..." He swallowed a sob, trying not to imagine what the ghosts might do to poor Grian.

Her face fell. "Oh goodie, there's a real person in there? Listen, I've got bad news kiddo. There is no way your pal survived without my help."

Mumbo pulled himself out of his misery to glare at Cleo. If he had one pet peeve, it was people who were way too cocky. "You don't know Grian like I do, he can hold his own easily."

"No, you don't understand. The only way to beat those ghosts is to suck them up with the Poltergust," Cleo explained.

"The poltergust?" Mumbo repeated doubtfully. What kind of a name was that?

Cleo lit up, running to the vacuum she had been wearing in the mansion. "This is the Poltergust 3000! She's a real beauty, and sucks up ghosts like nobody's business! If you wanna save your friend, you're gonna have to use her."

Mumbo stood slowly, eyeing the small vacuum. "Really?" The professor seemed to know what she was talking about, and it lit a spark of hope in Mumbo.

"Yep, no doubt about it. I would teach you how to use it right now, but I'm afraid we don't have time. I saw that fella go in like, half an hour ago. Oh, and you can take this Gameboy Horror too, that way I can help you from here!" Cleo dumped the vacuum into Mumbo's arms, tucking a small device in his back pocket. "If you have any questions, feel free to call!"

"Wait wait wait! Why am I doing this? You're the one who knows how to catch ghosts!" Mumbo cried, suddenly overwhelmed as Cleo herded him towards the ladder.

"I'm getting way to old for this business; I can't keep up with the ghosts anymore! But you kiddo, you've got potential! Just put that backpack on and you're good to go!" Cleo helped him pull the straps over his arms, and suddenly Mumbo found himself climbing the ladder, with a vacuum on his back and a Gameboy in his pocket.

This couldn't go any way but poorly.

Mumbo found himself creeping around the hole in the front porch, poking his head into the mansion. It was left just how he remembered it: terrifying. The air was deathly still, daring him to make a sound. Glancing around the room again, Mumbo discovered that there were indeed lightbulbs in the lamps and chandelier, but sconces lined the walls following the staircase up. _How old is this place? Torches _and_ electricity?_

A buzz exploded through the room, making Mumbo jump a mile in the air. Fumbling, he pulled the offensive device from his pocket, answering the call. If the buzzing hadn't alerted every ghost in the building of his location, his pounding heart most certainly was.

"Hey Mumbo, it's Cleo! Can you see me?" The small screen of the Gameboy displayed her pixelated face as she waved excitedly. At least one of us is happy about this. "How's it going?"

"Well I'm in the foyer, thanks for asking." Mumbo took a shuddering breath, trying to calm himself. Nothing seemed to have heard the loud noise, so Mumbo told himself he was safe for the time being.

"Oh I forgot to tell you! The Gameboy Horror also has a map! It's got all the rooms labeled, and every time a room is cleared of ghosts, it'll light up!" Cleo seemed rather pleased with herself for that one.

"Uh, thanks. So how exactly do I use this thing?" Mumbo motioned vaguely to the vacuum on his back. "We didn't get to that part of the instructions."

"Oh right! It's just like a Hoover, okay? Flip the switch and she'll start sucking! I'd recommend starting in the parlor, it seems like that room wasn't too infested. Good luck, I'll be here if you ever need help!" And with that she hung up.

Tucking the device in his pocket, Mumbo let out a shaky breath. Suddenly, his confidence in saving Grian was wavering. With hesitant steps, he climbed the stairs, confronting the imposing doors to the parlor. He knew what was in there, and he knew how to defeat them- kind of. He mustered all the courage he could, and set a hand on the doorknob.

The door groaned as Mumbo forced it open, almost discouraging him from coming in. At last, stepping into the room, Mumbo shut the door behind him, plunging the room into darkness. For a moment all was still, until a familiar giggle bounced off the walls. Mumbo searched desperately for the source of the voice, blood running cold as he spotted it. The ghost.

It's grin widened as it spotted Mumbo, mischief in its eyes. Suddenly, it leapt forward, making a horrible crowing noise as it attacked. Mumbo screamed; he wasn't ashamed to admit it. He fumbled for the mouth of the vacuum, whipping it out and pressing the button in an instant. Unfortunately, it didn't go quite how he imagined from there. His flashlight flickered to life, stunning the ghost and Mumbo at the same time. _I thought I grabbed the vacuum!_

He realized his mistake a little too late, as he and the ghost recovered from the surprise at the same time. The creature snickered, disappearing into thin air. The hunt was on now, and Mumbo was ready. He held his flashlight in one hand, wielding the Poltergust in the other, looking a lot bolder than he actually felt. He listened, the silence crushing him.

A soft growl from behind was all he needed. He whirled around, the beam of the flashlight stunning the ghost just long enough for Mumbo to turn on the vacuum. Mumbo jolted forward as the suction of the vacuum seemed to latch onto the ghost. The apparition screeched, flailing wildly as Mumbo was dragged behind it by the vice-like grip the vacuum held on it.

By some marvel of technology- or magic, since that seemed on the books at this point- the suction of the Poltergust seemed to lock onto the ghost with a force impossible for a normal vacuum. It also ignored everything else in the room, leaving all the furniture unscathed as the ghost dragged Mumbo across the room. He couldn't tell how long it took, but all of a sudden, there was a loud pop and Mumbo collapsed to the floor.

The ghost was gone, sucked into the Poltergust like Cleo had said. Mumbo caught his breath, his heart still pounding painfully in his chest. He literally just sucked up a ghost with a knock-off Hoover. And a good one at that.

After about five minutes of meditation, Mumbo was breathing normally and had somewhat come to terms with what had just happened. He immediately pulled out his Gameboy Horror to call Cleo, ignoring that his hands hadn't quite stopped shaking yet. "Cleo, I-"

"You did it!!" She interrupted loudly. "I'm so proud Mumbo, you did it!"

Mumbo let out a nervous laugh. "Uh, thanks. So, it's just... in the Poltergust now?"

"Yep! There's no way that puppy can get out unless I let him out with my machine," she declared proudly. "So, is the door to the anteroom unlocked?"

"The..?" Mumbo blinked. "Oh, this door?" He reached out for the small door he had spotted earlier, but the door refused to open. "It's locked..."

"Hm. There should be a key lying around somewhere. The ghosts love to lock doors and hide the keys, so you should poke around for one," she suggested.

Mumbo glanced around the room, and instantly a glimmer from under the coffee table. "I think the ghosts are taking it easy on me, which scares me."

"Meh, you walloped that guy, he probably dropped it in the skirmish. Try it out!" Cleo was bouncing in her seat, and Mumbo was jealous that she was safe in the lab while he was out here alone.

He tried the key in the lock and sure enough, the door opened, revealing a pitch black room beyond. Mumbo's stomach lurched. "Oh no, there's no way I'm going in there."

"What!" Cleo cried. "But I need my ghosts back!" She withered with a bashful grin under Mumbo's glare. "And your pal, don't forget him too!"

Mumbo sighed. He couldn't believe that it was only four in the afternoon. He didn’t even _know_ about the mansion before this morning, let alone the ghosts within. If he had an ounce of common sense, he would've bolted the instant he saw the creepy building. But, he knew he had to keep going. _Grian had better be thankful._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I absolutely adore this au, but it’s kinda hard to write lmao, so this is all ya get

**Author's Note:**

> I kinda wanna write more to this? I’m absolutely in love with this au, but the fic would basically follow the plot of the game with slight tweaks, and hermits as portrait ghosts. Thoughts?


End file.
